Episode 80: How Resilient Are You? The Stars, The Darkness & the Textures of Life with Victoria Granof
Podcast
Episode 80: How Resilient Are You? The Stars, The Darkness & the Textures of Life with Victoria Granof
“And if everything is great and happy all the time, then you never get to experience what real happiness is. Because you need the sadness. You need those places of sorrow, to carve out places where happiness can live.” — Victoria Granof
Welcome to this week’s episode of Show Up Fully where repeat guest Victoria Granof, a food creative and visionary who heads up Victoria Granof Studio, sheds light on darkness, embracing sadness, and she shares her philanthropic spirit with World Central Kitchen in feeding the citizens of Ukraine in Poland.
Join me on today’s episode as we learn from Victoria how to reframe our perspective on the darkness in our lives.
After all, you can only see the stars in complete darkness. Listen to Victoria’s previous episode here
In This Episode:
● Cooked purslane, a succulent weed with energetic qualities for survival
● Health benefits of dandelion tonic and other herbal medicines
● Philanthropy through World Central Kitchen to help feed Ukraine
● Anger gives us energy, it takes the darkness to see the stars
● Mistakes bring us to the truth
Listen on ITUNES + Spotify Tag us @chefcarlacontreras and @victoriagranof #showupfully to continue the conversation.
Eat Well,
xo Chef Carla
PS: Curious about my Health Coach journey? Listen to this episode
Resources Mentioned: World Central Kitchen donate here
Photo Credit: Taste
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About Victoria Granof
Victoria Granof is the chief Creative Director, collaborator, food stylist and visionary who heads up Victoria Granof Studio. Included among Cherry Bombe's 100 Most Inspiring Women In Food, she is a Cordon Bleu chef who cut her teeth on ten years' work with Irving Penn.
Conceptual (actually designed and created a life-sized Marie Antoinette out of candy), wildly clever and verbal (check out her cookbooks).
Victoria and her long time band of co-creators and assistants create compelling, delicious and meaningful food and food design, concepts, still and moving imagery, recipes and content that move brands both large and small forward or maintain a well-loved course.
Find + Work With Victoria:
Website: http://www.victoriagranof.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/victoriagranof
Photo Credit from: Food 52
00:00
Carla Contreras
Hey, it's Chef Carla and welcome to show up fully. This is a podcast where I share what it's like to show up for your real life. If you don't know me, I'm a food stylist, content creation coach, and so much more. You can find more about me and today's show notes. And it's Carla Contreras on Instagram. Today's guest is a repeat guest, and I literally adore you, Victoria. Victoria granoff is a food stylist, a director, and so much more Victoria, I would love for you to introduce yourself and how you serve the world.
00:41
Victoria Granof
Oh my gosh, well, I love you more than you love me. Well, you're right. I'm a food stylist. But you know, anybody who works with food now is kind of a food stylist, you know, it's sort of become a very broad term. So I'll raise you one by saying I'm a food creative. That's what I do. So any place where you can create around the topic of food, whether it's cooking food, or talking about food, or directing food, or styling food, or making food or writing about food, that's really what I do.
01:09
Carla Contreras
I love that new term, I feel like it encompasses so much more. And someone tried to coin me as culinary producer. And I was like, that doesn't feel so good. But I do love this creative.
01:26
Victoria Granof
Food creative as I am just, I mean, it's a very love it. But if you're creating with about under up on top of it between food, whatever. You know, it leaves us so much more open, because everybody is showing up in different ways. Now, you know, it used to be everybody just showed up. You know, if you did one thing, that's what you called yourself. And that's what you did. But we have sort of a democratization of food culture right now where everybody can get their tentacles into all aspects of it. So to limit ourselves to one title, it was time for a new designation. So I just took it upon myself to designate
02:06
Carla Contreras
I love it, Victoria, I love it. I love the creativity that's involved in even doing that. And like putting yourself into a space where you not only do one thing, you do all of the things, which is probably where you've lived for a very long time anyways. Yeah, so I think that it's a very beautiful space to be in. It would love to chat food. Because before we hopped on this podcast, we talked a little about purslane. So I usually ask guests, what was your last meal, but I'd love to, like dive into this, because I've never cooked purslane and if people don't know, can you tell us a little bit about it? Oh, gosh, well,
02:47
Victoria Granof
I'm sure you're better equipped to handle the wellness aspects of it. But it's gifts. It's a weed, like so many other wonderful weeds, you know, it's forced to push itself up between concrete. So it develops a hardiness and it develops its own internal intelligence and it develops, whatever it takes, it becomes really strong within itself. I feel like I'm a metaphor for personally and write that right now. But you know, I love weeds because they do that. And it's just sort it's, I think it's a succulent, and it grows on these kind of watery stocks. I just saw it Sunday at the Green Market. So I bought it because I usually just sort of chop it up and mix it with yogurt and lemon. And that's that, but I don't know, I decided to steam it this morning. And it's kind of cool. I haven't done anything to it. I steamed it and then forgot that I had this call with you. And so it's sitting here. But people just lemon juice and olive oil it maybe some yuzu Kosho or something on it.
03:49
Carla Contreras
I love it. I love how you talked about its energetic qualities. And I think that that's interesting. I took a class A million years ago, or at least it feels like it with Anne Marie Colvin of the natural gourmet, she has passed away since but I took a class with her on the energetics of food and we went like deep. It was fascinating. And I feel like I have this workbook still, but of like, all the different qualities like you talked about this weed and like its resilience and growing up. And I still think about this, like, on days where I feel like I'm like floating in the universe. And like Alright, I'm gonna have some sweet potatoes or some potatoes so I can just ground down. I need like some beets in my life. I need you know, uplifting qualities of greens in any form like the person is a weed but like dandelion, thinking about food in terms of that is really interesting. Yeah,
04:57
Victoria Granof
definitely. Well, dandelions are kind of my little town. onek that whenever I feel sort of a little low, I'll boil up some dandelions and eat that and then drink the water afterwards because I feel like the energy that they embody pushing up through all that concrete and rocky soil and wherever it is they grow. I just kind of take that on. You know, I need a little of that sometimes. So dandelions,
05:21
Carla Contreras
dandelions are great too. I mean, they're also great. They're great for digestion. They're great if you have a stomach ache, they're great for like not so great things like food poisoning. Like I will say this out loud. I am not a doctor, I am a health coach. If you need medical attention, then seek that but for me, I took a herbal medicine class with Dr Aviva ROM and one of her big things was using dandelion roots tincture now using it fresh I think, like if we talk from an energetic standpoint, like getting it fresh, such revitalization.
06:03
Victoria Granof
Yeah, well, I'm sure that the roots and the leaves I'm sure there are different properties and different. I mean, medicinally for all of that, but also dandelion, my aunt and Cecily, once I had a broken heart, and she boiled that she went out right after right after a rain and got some dandelions and boiled them up and made me drink the water. She has this will clear the broken heart. I mean, it definitely made me think of nothing else except bitter dandelion water. Everything but how bitter it was. But now I love it. I really love it.
06:36
Carla Contreras
Oh, I love this so much. I love this so much. So in our last podcast, which I will link to this episode, we talked about creativity, and we went deep into creativity. And it's actually one of the most listened to podcasts that I have people love this. We also talked about your viral chickpeas. And it was so great. It was literally so great. So I will link that here. But I would love to know, since we've last chatted on this podcast, how has showing up change for you? How has it evolved? And what ways because I got to witness such a beautiful fundraiser that you hosted? what ways did you show up for Ukraine? I would love to know more about that.
07:29
Victoria Granof
Whoa, thank you. Well, you started at because I remember going you had a fundraiser, you were running a fundraiser for World central kitchen. And I donated to it. And then there was a link there that said, you know, if you want to publicize this on your own page, I think I made a mistake actually and pushed the wrong thing, and ended up loading a new fundraiser onto my site. I think that's what happened. Because I remember it being a little confounded by their whole situation there. And I think I ended up loading my own. And my son, I adopted my son as a single parent from Ukraine when he was a baby. So I have a connection to it. And I've also worked there, there have been up until recently, a couple of really great production companies there. So I've worked there as well. And I have friends. So I have a connection to Ukraine and the world central kitchen I thought well of all things I can just go volunteer at the frontlines and cook make borscht, you know, do something. And my son wanted to do it too, because he's 18 What he really wanted to do is fight and I said well, how about if we cook instead? And so, you know, I contacted them and they had not yet set it up, set up their whole volunteer program. So I just continued to post updates from friends of mine and what in real time you know what they're in Ukraine and what they were struggling with and how they were dealing with it with their families and and then photo essay I had done with Louise Hager and JoJo Lee about you know, my time in Ukraine adopting Theo and I posted pictures of that. And, you know, it was just very much bringing the reality of it to people who are following me. And in the end, I raised $25,000 for World central kitchen. Here's the part that still upsets me just a tiny bit. Once you've reached your goal, you push a button and they get the money and that's it. So it's you know, very streamlined process for them to get the money. But I never received a thank you I never received any email from them even saying we've received your money. Thank you nothing, absolutely nothing. And I sat on it for a few days and I thought well, they're definitely busy all wait. I'm sure there's going to be some computer generated thank you at some point, but there never was. So I wrote an email, which I didn't send until the next morning because I never send email was in anger or, you know, high passion. I never sent passionate emails, when they're written, I always sit on them for, you know, overnight, because that can be dangerous. And I changed the wording a little bit. And, you know, basically I said, I'm a little disappointed, you know, I never received any kind of acknowledgement, and I'm a big supporter. And I'd love to volunteer, and I haven't received anything anyway, on and on. But then I sent it, and then I felt a little bit guilty. And for some reason, I called my agent and I said, you know, I just want to let you know, out of guilt that I sent this email, and I don't know how it's going to be received. You know, if someone calls you and complains about me just know that I sent this. Well, I don't know how long it was a couple of days later, I receive word that they would like me to style their cookbook. So I'm going to be going to Washington, DC in August with Kristin Teague, the photographer and we're going to be doing their cookbook. So So we're talking about manifestation at the end before we started recording. But I know that one thing had nothing to do with the other in reality, that email, who knows it's probably still in the bottom of someone's email pile. But there was something about the action that caused a reaction energetically. And so that's my thank you that I get to do this cookbook
11:20
Carla Contreras
for them. I love it. And I love that you put they may not be tied at all but energetically and you know, we talked about food energetics and why not this the email energetics of it, that there was an action and there was a reaction.
11:37
Victoria Granof
And honestly, I have to say that I didn't want a thank you. I wanted an acknowledgement that I was in this with them. And they understood that I was supporting them. And we were in this together, I didn't want them to tell me how fabulous I was. And by offering me that opportunity to serve them further and to show up further for them by doing the book that was more of a thank you than if somebody had written back and said thank you very much for your generous donation. So honestly, it's just another opportunity to serve them. And that was more meaningful than anything they could have just generated.
12:13
Carla Contreras
I love that. And so it's coming from a place of service, which your fundraiser came from a place of service, you going to Ukraine and actually baking, because you baked bread that was service. And now the cookbook is service because people are going to open up that cookbook and see those beautifully styled recipes.
12:37
Victoria Granof
And you know, they're going to see the work that world central kitchen does. So I went it wasn't with them. And they actually opened up the volunteering, but the priorities went to people who lived in the region or who spoke some of the language and I was none of that. So I just my son and I just went Theo, he and I just went and rented an Airbnb in Krakow. And we just went there and baked easter bread Pashka easter bread and gave it out to people that we organizations that were on the ground there for Ukrainian Easter. So we just did it. We were just baking around the club for three days in our little Airbnb and wrapping it up and taking it all to people who needed it.
13:26
Carla Contreras
Hey, love this, Victoria. It's so beautiful. Thank you. Can we talk about because I love that you said that you sat on this email? Yes, you wrote an email in the moment, but you did not send that exact email, can we talk about that process for a second, one of
13:45
Victoria Granof
my core beliefs is that no conflict or nothing is solved with the energy at which it's created or the level at which it's created. So if that's making me angry, or that's making me feel some sort of way, and I try to solve it with that same energy in that at that same level of anger, it's not going to be solved there. It's just going to become more of that. And so by waiting, and by waiting until I'm in a better frame of mind, and until I can look at it objectively, because when you're too close to something, you can't really see it. And so with a little bit of distance and a good night's sleep, I was able to look back and say okay, well I think I can change the wording here and make this a more pleasant thing and it was really not about I'm angry and you need you know, you owe me this you owe me that it was just I want you to feel I want to be acknowledged for being in this fight with you and for serving with you. And I think the energy of you know whenever you're in some kind of conflict, if you try to solve it at that same place where the conflict is, it never gets resolved it becomes more of what it is it becomes a different conflict. You have to get to a higher place or are a better place or a clearer place or whatever place seems to be more productive or a kinder place to try to address that, that I know to be true. You just can't have the level where it's created.
15:12
Carla Contreras
I love this, can we talk about bittersweet, because you put me on to a book that I feel like, had a domino effect and brought me back to the Buddhist meditation practice that I had not done in a long time. So I would love to talk about bittersweet in your perception of bittersweet.
15:35
Victoria Granof
It all started by watching Home Improvement shows, where they put those signs up in people's homes, that say, you know, love family be happy, you know, happy home, we're a happy family and, and I think, who you're trying to convince, it all kind of started with that. It's like the American obsession with being happy. We have this obsession with everybody has to be happy. Everybody has to be, has to have a happy family and have a happy day and have a great day and all of this. And if everything is great and happy all the time, then you never get to experience what real happiness is. Because you need the sadness. You need those places of sorrow, to carve out places where happiness can live. And I'm paraphrasing LeBron with this. But you know, if everything is always happy, happy. First of all, no one can ever be happy all the time. You just can't be happy all the time. So the happy B gets the sadness. And then the sadness is wrong. So that begets depression. And then you never get to happiness. I think it was Pilar Guzman, who posted about bittersweet. And to be honest, I haven't finished reading it. But it started me on this whole journey of realizing that it is real, what I've always felt, is the sorrow and longing. And all of this stuff that we try to exercise from our lives is really this is useful. This is what ultimately gives us a feeling of contentment and happiness. I don't even know what happy is. I think contentment is probably moments of joy. I don't even know what happy as happy as happy birthday, happy anniversary happy home. But joy and contentment and things that are very, that are much deeper than that. You can't tell people to have them you can't put a sign up. That's that's a practice. That's what did you get from it. I'm curious to hear what you got from it. Because
17:44
Carla Contreras
bittersweet was such a gift to me and I have not finished the book. I'll put the link in the show notes for people that want to read it. But it did bring me back to a book that I was reading by Pema and I have it next to me it's called The Wisdom of no escape guru. And it literally it's like a 30 day meditation book practice. But it's really she talks about sitting with who you are, as opposed to trying to run away from your neuroses and things that you deem is wrong with you. Because those things that we think that are wrong, such as like anger are actually things that give us energy and give us light and make us the whole well rounded person we are.
18:35
Victoria Granof
Oh absolutely there's a saying in Italian translated means it takes the darkness to see the stars. And if you cannot see stars, if everything is white, and clear and glowy and sunshine, you can't see stars, you need a completely dark sky to see stars. Sometimes I just can't even stand Instagram, because everybody's posting these like perfect pictures of their perfect food and their perfect afternoon collecting their perfect purslane. This thing of purslane came from the side of the road. It came from this guy was closing his stall. It fell on the floor. I didn't even wash it, I realized it fell on the ground on Carroll Street. I realize when you're talking about this, I didn't even wash this stuff. And I actually cooked it in the same pan that I cooked my son's bacon in and I didn't wash that out either. I just stuck the stuff in there. And the kitchen towel is now on the floor because I was rushing to get to the computer. I mean, nobody ever shows that stuff. Nobody ever tells those truths. That's where I want to see that's what that's what makes me happy when I see what are missed mistakes. I don't even want to say a mistake because sometimes mistakes take us to such a better place like puff pastry was probably a mistake. They probably forgot to put the butter in the dough and fold it in afterwards. You know that's what I would love to see your peoples mistakes and I agree with you, they bring us closer to the truth of everybody. They bring us closer to the truth. The truth is not those moments where we can achieve a perfect plate of food or something that looks beautiful. The truth is in the moments leading up to it, where you make the mistakes, and you make the left turns, and right turns and dust your stuff off. And that's where you connect, I don't think you connect with perfection, you connect with the human moments, we connect with human moments. And those human moments are rarely pretty, to be honest.
20:30
Carla Contreras
Exactly. Exactly. They're rarely printing. No. And it's such a beautiful place to witness someone who is literally like living as opposed to trying to be perfect.
20:43
Victoria Granof
Yeah, no, you can't be perfect, and you can't be happy all the time. And I think it's so funny because I think it was telling you this we say if something, you know, like, Oh, thank goodness, it's light outside, you know, will say that very flippantly. Oh, thank goodness, it's like about the stupidest little things that you really, it's nice to be grateful for little things. But in Italian, the word is the term is Minamata, which means the lesser of the bad. So it's not to say like, when we say something like that, what we're saying is, thank goodness, we're closer to perfection, when they say something like that, they're thanking goodness, that it wasn't worse. So it's like the expectation is not that, oh, this coffee cup is making me closer to perfection. It's like, well, it's taking me away from something worse. So the perspective is totally different. And it doesn't set you up for the kind of depression that we have here. We have to rethink our feelings of happiness and wanting to be happy and having to be happy and what happiness is and if it even exists, or if it's a sustainable state of mind. I'm going to say it's not
21:55
Carla Contreras
I love it. And I would dare say, according to different traditions, that it's not, it's not an attainable thing. It's not that someone looks for that. And we can look at different like religions and different traditions. It's not there. And I do think for my great, great aunt, I remember asking, how are you? She's like, I'm as a men a mez. And like, it wasn't like, Oh, I'm great. I'm doing amazing. It was like, Oh, I'm okay. In Spanish, we have it like a asi asi . Like, I'm okay. So no, no, yeah, like, and I think that these are like beautiful expressions and other languages that don't lean into either or.
22:42
Victoria Granof
Right, right. And everybody does live somewhere in the middle. You know, and that's good. I jokingly sometimes when I'll get on set, people say how are you? And I know they want me to say either Oh, God, I'm just to have the shittiest ride here or I'm great. I know. They don't want to really hear how I am. So I'll just say up top of the world, top of the world, and everyone will laugh and go on about their business. Like I'm debt clearly not on top of the world. Nobody's on top of the world. But okay, thanks for asking. If you said to somebody, honestly, just in passing, oh, good morning, how are you? And somebody said, I'm okay, then they'd start getting worried. But that's actually really our natural state. I'm okay. I
23:26
Carla Contreras
see that and it makes people very uncomfortable. Some uncomfortable right there. I dare into that space. And I say, Oh, I'm okay. And people don't know how to take this. Yeah, yeah, it's okay. I'm like, Oh, I'm okay.
23:40
Victoria Granof
I'm alright. Yep. I know. It's funny. They're very, you're right. They're very uncomfortable with that. People want to fix it. Maybe with signage. I'm sorry. It just makes me crazy when I see that signage and it's always in the same font. Love our happy home love family. Happy Home. It's always in the same font.
23:58
Carla Contreras
Well, we're writing outside of the lines Victoria.
24:01
Victoria Granof
I know. I just had a nibble of this personally. How is it? It's got the most wonderful texture. It's kind of like I said at first it was slimy, but it's not really slimy. It's kind of velvety and gooey. And it's it isn't succulents so the leaves aren't the leaves have some body to them. And some crunch even when there was very nice very nice summer vegetable.
24:26
Carla Contreras
I can't wait to try it cups because I've never tried it cooks it's gonna be so interesting. I have to find it in Jersey. And I'm sure that I could find it literally growing somewhere because I remember walking when I lived in the city in Williamsburg there was personally like literally growing out of the sidewalk. Yeah, now what I have touched that one no on Bedford Ave. Absolutely no, no, I would not. But could I find it in a field here in Jersey? Yeah, and and cook it. Yes.
25:02
Victoria Granof
Oh, you so could I wonder if anybody goes? Does anybody go foraging out there where you are?
25:07
Carla Contreras
I have a friend that owns a huge farm. He's actually a guest on this podcast soon. So I wonder if he has it. I'm gonna text him or DM him and see if it's on his land. But I think that, you know, it's quite possible that I have friends that have it on their land. Yes, like watercress to why Yeah, why not?
25:31
Victoria Granof
I streams like little babbling brooks just
25:36
Carla Contreras
so delicious. Let
25:37
Victoria Granof
me know if you find any, and I'll come out and forage with you. Oh, I
25:40
Carla Contreras
would love that Victoria. Would love it be so much fun. We could chat all day. But I'm not going to take up your entire time, I would love to know how we can find you how we can work with you how we can support you in any causes. Because I know that this is definitely part of your heart. So I want to I want to give your space for that as well. Oh, that is so sweet.
26:07
Victoria Granof
Thank you, you can always find me at Victoria granoff.com. At Victoria granoff. When f is my Instagram, you can always DM me there v granoff@gmail.com. Through there you can find my reps for directing and styling and all that other stuff. But I think what are my causes, you know, my cause right now is to figure out is to help my son figure out what his passion is, so that he can make a transition into post high school. As you know, he has autism. So that's a bit of a, that's a bit of a struggle. World central kitchen is always something I like feel like I was not prepared for that. I'm in a very like June and July, I'm in this space of helping him and really working with him on his educational journey. But then I'm taking a watercolor class, then I'm going back to my world central kitchen work. And I will probably also I'm just kind of wanting to do cookbooks for community gardens. Here in New York. You know, there's a one in the Bronx, and there's one and so I think I'm just going to start go. I have so much success, just kind of freestyling it in Ukraine and doing that, that work that I think I'm just going to start introducing myself to people at the Greenmarket who have community gardens and volunteer to make books for them. I don't know how you can support that. But putting that out there in the universe. So that's that.
27:35
Carla Contreras
I love that. I love that intention. And I think that, you know, just even you saying it and bringing it out into the world. And who knows, who knows, maybe your beautiful watercolors will be in this book. Who knows?
27:48
Victoria Granof
You know what I tell you about thinking the the thing about the watercolors is that, if you have a couple seconds, they have worse is that when I've started doing this directing, I've been doing it for a few years for big brands. And the process of that is very different than what I've been used to one part of the process is that they choose three directors. And then they give you the creative brief, and you have to write a treatment. And the treatment is a multi page document with visual references and descriptions and lighting and mood and look and feel and camera movements and all this stuff. It requires a tremendous amount of energy and creative energy, and you have a 33.3 chance of being awarded the job. And if not, that's energy that's just been expended for nothing other than to have already pulled images that you might use. And another thing you know, but that is a good solid week or two weeks of expended energy and creativity that has no return. And so I started to feel resentful and depleted going through that process. Because you know, I'll get like once every four job four treatments, I'll get something. And so I felt the need to really kind of replenish those last creative juices by just bringing in another discipline and bringing in another avenue for creativity that had nothing to do with that. And so, yeah, I haven't done watercolors for a really long time. So I'm looking forward to getting back into it and yeah, and offsetting that output by something that gives me something back, which is going to be my own work anyway, so I can't
29:37
Carla Contreras
wait to see it.
29:39
Victoria Granof
Thank you Well, who knows what's gonna happen? It may be just a bunch of poppies
29:44
Carla Contreras
for a while poppies you know this my business is called Poppy, my content creation lab. It's called the puppy content lab. I love puppies. Yes, yeah. So I was thinking of a business name because I teach content creation to other entrepreneurs and creatives. And I was like, Well, what am I going to call this? And I was in a Wegmans, which we have in Jersey. And I was like going through the baking aisle, and I saw this giant bag of Bob's Red Mill, poppy seeds. And I was like, what if I called it Poppy. And so I call all of the people that are part of poppy poppies. It's like the cutest thing and it makes me it makes me and other people very happy. Oh my gosh,
30:33
Victoria Granof
I grew up with California poppies, California State flower.
30:37
Carla Contreras
I love it. Wait, okay,
30:39
Victoria Granof
well, I'll be sending you watercolor copies for a while.
30:45
Carla Contreras
I love it. This has been so much fun. This has been such a joy. Thank you so much for coming on and, and just sharing with me and I just adore you and I adore talking to you. And I am so so so grateful for you, Victoria.
31:01
Victoria Granof
Oh, as I am for you. Thank you so much. And I hope you have a really joyous, joyous summer, where you can see the stars in the darkness and all the different textures of life.